Death Note and Justin Beiber
by Tori-Colour-Bastia
Summary: Just as Light and L were having an argument about Justin Bieber, who walks in but the devil himself? This is either really stupid or really funny. One-shot.


Death Note vs. Justin Beiber

_**Disclaimer: I do not own Death Note, its characters, Justin Beiber, Wikipedia, or any other trademark. I only take credit for jokes (or lack there of). This was not made out of hate, in fact, I LOVE Justin Beiber.**_

_**Lyrics courtesy of **__**.com**__**.**_ _**Wikipedia article found here: **__**.org/wiki/Justin_Bieber**__** (not quoted).**_

Light sat on his couch listening to his iPod and singing softly to the lyrics, which were fairly high pitched:

"Baby we were underground  
>We are on the surface now<br>We are gonna make it girl  
>I promise<br>If you believe in love  
>And you believe in us<br>We can go nowhere but up…"

"What is this abomination Light-kun is listening to?" L asked. "It's strangely high-pitched and girly-sounding? Is it Taylor Swift? I'd walk away, but…" He finished the statement by holding up a cuffed hand.

"No L, seeing as you have no pop-cultural education, that's Justin Beiber."

"Please tell me in recent year 'Justin' has become a girl's name."

"No, Justin Beiber is a boy. And straight."

"Prove it, Light-kun."

Light yanked out his laptop and opened Wikipedia.

"And I quote from the actual article:

'Full name at birth: Justin Drew Beiber

Age: 17

Date of Birth: March 1, 1994

Gender: Male'

Ryuzaki, you have been pwned."

"Light-kun can prove Justin Beiber is a seventeen-year-old boy, but he cannot prove that Justin is straight." L said, crossing his arms and looking authoritative.

"Yes I can!" Light said.

The college student did some more typing and came up with the website for some fan magazine. He clicked some links and showed his work to the detective.

"And I quote:

'New couple of the month: Justin Beiber and Selena Gomez.'

See, he's straight."

"You can be gay and still date girls."

"No you can't."

L looked up at Light.

"Light-kun dates girls."

Light gave the panda-like man a death glare.

"I'm tired of this conversation."

"Could I at least see a picture of Beiber."

Light shrugged.

"Why not."

He clicked more links and came up with a picture of the perpetrator. L looked from the computer to Light and then back at the computer again.

"He looks just like Light-kun. Justin is gay and that's final," L decided. "I'm 99.6% sure of it."

Light was about to say something when a knock resounded on the door.

"I'll get that," Light decided.

He opened the door. Standing on the other side was a caramel-haired, chocolate-eyed teen with a very familiar hair style.

"Justin Bieber!" Light asked in surprise.

"Yah, um, I was just on my way to Tokyo as part of my world tour and my limo broke down. I don't have international coverage, so could you call a mechanic or something..? WOAH!" the pop star screamed as he narrowly dodged one of L's roundhouse kicks.

"Ryuzaki!" Light scolded L. "You don't just kick pop stars!"

Justin brushed it off. "Nah, I'm used to it. I got egged in Australia, remember?"

"Oh yah. Want a cup of tea or something while I call a mechanic?"

Justin shrugged. "Okay."

"He's not having any of my cake!" L shouted.

"Was this a bad time? I'm sorry. I could leave.."

"NO! I mean.. It's not a bad time at all… Ryuzaki's just weird… And he has the keys." Light said, holding up the handcuffs.

"Should I ask?"

"No!" L screamed from the other room.

"What Ryuzaki MEANS TO SAY is that it would be a long story and you'd be late for your concert," Light said, glaring daggers at the man he was chained to.

Light brewed Justin Bieber a quick cup of tea. Light picked up the phone and called a mechanic. He finished the transaction and hung up the phone.

Justin took a sip from the cup. "I know it's really impolite to ask, but are you two gay or something?"

"No," L answered.

"Well then why are you handcuffed together?"

"It's a long story…"

"I got time. Just give it to me as short as you can."

"He's Kira!"

"He's paranoid!"

"You percentage just went up by 20%"

"I think I get it now."

"You do?" the two older men shot Justin a look.

"You're L and you think that… what's your name?"

"Light."

"Light is Kira, so you handcuffed him to you to see whether or not he's Kira and find out how he kills."

"You pieced all that together just from our conversation?" L asked.

"Yes. I'm not stupid you know."

"That statement was debatable." L said in monotone.

At that moment, Matsuda headed down the stairs.

"Hey Ryuzaki I brought the coffee you…" Matsuda dropped his mug. "Oh my god is that Justin Beiber?"

"Hello." Justin turned to Light. "One of your friends?"

"Coworker," he responded.

"Oh my god! Justin I am a huge fan."

L sat down on the couch.

"That's Matsuda. Warning, don't use big words around Matsuda."

"You sit weird," Justin observed.

"You sing like a girl," L defended.

"Touché."

"You're just going to give into that?"

"Yah, wouldn't you?"

"I'd try to roundhouse kick me if I were you."

Justin nodded. "This just got 50% weirder."

Light turned to L. "He sounds just like you!"

"You broke my idol!" Matsuda screamed.

All hell broke loose as L, Light and Matsuda started fighting. Justin hung on the sidelines, not wanting to feel L's roundhouse kick, which he had narrowly dodged two minutes earlier. Three minutes into this, the mechanic knocked on the door. Justin got up to answer it.

"Hello?" he asked in monotone.

The mechanic looked behind the pop idol to see the three older men.

"Will they be paying for this?" he asked.

"No, it's my limo. Just put it on my card." Justin handed the man a Visa card.

"I already finished working on your limo."

The limo driver ran up to Justin.

"Hey, Beiber, get in the car we're gonna be late."

Justin Beiber looked back at the three men, who were still fighting.

"Thanks for letting me use your phone. And for the tea," he called at them.

"Welcome!" an out-of-breath Light responded while standing over a knocked-out Matsuda.

Justin hopped into his limo. In the rear view mirror, the chauffer noticed that Justin was sitting with two knees up, but he just guessed it was Justin being Justin.

_**Later that day**_

Matsuda was standing next to the couch Light and L were on at the beginning of this fan fic, pointing a loaded gun at their heads while Justin Beiber wailed away at his hits from the flat-screen TV:

"I will never say never! (I will fight)  
>I will fight till forever! (make it right)<br>Whenever you knock me down,  
>I will not stay on the ground.<br>Pick it up,  
>Pick it up,<br>Pick it up,  
>Pick it up, up, up,<br>And never say never."

"Hey L, notice how holding the microphone," Light prodded at the older man.

The detective looked closely.

"Oh yah. I think, I found the kid who will take my place should Near, Mello, and Matt all somehow die."

"How will you contact him?"

L held up a cell phone and smiled cheekily. Light glared daggers at him.

"How did you steal that?"

"I have my ways. I'm going to ship it back to his home address and enclose a letter of acceptance to my academy. And you thought I wasn't a fan," L explained in monotone.


End file.
